


just like this, but not for always

by orphan_account



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Second Kiss, emotional support noah, that's road
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Thrown together with Road, Allen questions his motives.
Relationships: Road Kamelot & Allen Walker, Road Kamelot/Allen Walker
Kudos: 17





	just like this, but not for always

**Author's Note:**

> Ms. Hoshino did say Road would be following Allen at some point, soo,.. *shrug shrug*

Allen was treading that blurry line between sleep and wakefulness.

He was standing on a cliff-a precipice- a yawning canyon below. Closer to the edge-feels too close-he was tumbling off! Falling! "My gosh!" Allen shot up straight, narrowly avoiding knocking foreheads with Road. What the-why was she so close-

"Good morning!" Road adjusted the folds of her white dress so that it covered her knees again. Allen tore his gaze away from her and down to his hands, which were clenching her dress on either side of her thighs. He was essentially half-kneeling over her. He loosened his grip and backed away to sit beside her, giving his foggy head a shake. It was going to take more than that to quit feeling so discombobulated, however, and he dropped his forehead in his palm with a groan.

Road heaved a little sigh beside him, as if to remind him of her presence. As if he could forget she was traveling with him now. And she wasn't the only one. There was Kanda..and Lenalee.. He jerked upright, making Road start, and took a survey of the campsite. Empty, except for the dying firepit and a hollowed-out stump. And he and Road, of course. He turned to her. "Where'd they go?"

Her eyes, sapphire blue as she was in her human form. But she hadn't been last night. That's right-Apocryphos had ambushed them, and tried to absorb Lenalee. Allen had been rendered immobile, due to Apocryphos' strange paralytic abilities. Kanda had gone to purchase food...

Road studied his face and then graced him with a small smile, as if she could tell he needed the pep boost. Perhaps she could. Road was eerily astute at times- supportive, unpredictable, dubious ally- the list went on.

"They had to leave, Allen," she said at last in her soft voice. "Traveling with us was a danger to them. Apocryphos will keep tailing us, and because they're exorcists, your friends will always be helpless against him. He _is_ the wellspring of their power, after all. Innocence is but a weapon to be used by him."

Allen scowled reflexively at Lenalee and Kanda being thought of only as weapons. Typical of the Order and Noah's impersonal thinking. Then her words hit home (he was always a little slow on the uptake in the morning).

"Leave?!" he spluttered. "Where did they go?" And without saying goodbye, too!

Road was sorting through the canvas bag by her side. "I don't know," she said with a shrug. "But they made the right choice. You can see that, can't you?" 

He really couldn't. Sure..Apocryphos was a recurring problem. But working together, they could all fend him off. Right? Ok, Road had had to step in because Kanda was MIA and he was down for the count. But that was hardly a common occurrence. Eventually, Neah would break his silence and help Allen, like he said he would. There had been no need to split off..

There was a light pressure on his wrist, and Allen glanced over to see Road at his side. She held his anti-akuma hand in her soft palm, raising it close to her eyes, as if inspecting it for damage. Allen raised his eyebrows, wondering if pulling away would be rude. She didn't need to check him over. He'd had zero participation in last night's skirmish. 

"I wonder," Road murmured, and Allen pricked up his ears. She dropped his hand. "Where you are going, they cannot follow."

His breath caught in his throat,and Allen was really on high alert now. Road never offered him information.

"You'll be alone eventually," Road said with conviction. "I'll stay with you as long as I can, but..you have to make your own path. Chart your own course."

He couldn't really hear her anymore, not after that dreaded "a" word. _Alone._ With no one to speak to, to navigate this harrowing journey with. And it was harrowing. Misery loves company, after all, and the moments he could spend commiserating with people as equally wrung out as him had meant the world. Because, when you got right down to it, Allen was afraid. Of the monster inside him, and he didn't just mean Neah, although that was a problem too. No, there was the maelstrom of his emotions, that crushing weight of depression that struck when he was left alone for too long. It distorted him, blinded him.

It made him selfish, too. So selfish that he was willing to put others at risk just to keep them by him, to ward off that loneliness. Like Timcanpy. And now Lenalee. Because if he was ever truly alone..well, he would..

Smack!

Allen blinked away the nascent prick of tears and frowned at Road, who was lowering her hands, having clapped to get his attention. Her wide blue eyes were analytical as she took him in. Allen could almost see her weighing and dismissing possibilities, as she considered how to deal with him. When had he learned to read her so well? What a wild girl she was..if it wasn't Apocryphos or the Earl upending his world, it was her, with her seemingly arbitrary antics and professions of affection. Good of her to behave herself now, during his time of need. He smiled reluctantly, the motion crackly from disuse.

Road beamed back at him, and he reared back a little in surprise.

"I know what's wrong," she said, with a confident nod.

"Oh?"Allen rose to his feet, and headed over to the stump to pack up his duffel, bad thoughts banished for the time being. He wasn't alone _yet._

"Yup," Road seemed certain. "You didn't like what I was saying, did you? Because you like having people around you-that's your lollipop stick on the ground, not mine- you don't even like washing your clothes by yourself." She gave a little twirl, making her skirt fan out. "But you'll always have..Neah.." she tripped over the name like it was difficult to say aloud, and Allen noticed she stopped twirling. Then she perked up again. "I'm going to be with you for awhile for first! You're my best friend!"

"Your best friend, huh?" Allen gave his bag's zipper a jerk. 

"Of course!" Road hopped over to him and stopped, balancing on one foot. "What else would you be?" Her eyes narrowed in thought before lighting up again. Allen watched with a sort of weary bemusement. "My boyfriend? Ooh! Wouldn't that be fun?"

"For you."

"What would we do together, though?" Road tapped her mouth in thought. "Go on dates? Wait, have you ever courted anyone?"

"A few times," Allen muttered, knowing she wouldn't let it go until he answered. He actually had taken a few girls on dates- usually at Master Cross's behest, because he wanted to mooch off their families. Very romantic. 

"Whaa-at?" Road was affronted. "You cheated on me?!" Her big eyes grew mournful as another thought struck her. "And I bet you had a kiss before me, too!"

They were walking down the path now, and Allen was feeling awfully ebullient-the affects of his lingering anxiety-induced high, and Road's train of thought, he supposed. Whatever the case, something compelled him to answer her. Wild girl, he didn't like to see her downcast.

"No, you were my first." He cleared his throat. "Kiss."

Road lit up like a sweetshop on Christmas, her round cheeks puffing up in a big smile. All because of him, like he was some hot commodity. 

"Did you like it?" 

Allen didn't realize he'd been staring at her until then. He stumbled a little, and cleared his throat again. He wasn't so far gone as to not feel embarrassed. "I'm afraid it was too quick for me to notice much of anything. "

"Ooh! Aren't _you_ smooth! Well, would you like another?" 

Ok, now what? Nice going, wise guy! He could berate himself and berate himself, but the truth was-

"Sure, why not?" Who cared? He had no clue what would become of him down the line. He could even die. But at least he knew what he wanted here and now. Road always was good at rooting him in the present, in reality. 

"At long last!" Road spoke on a heavy exhale, and turned to face him, determination in her eyes. Allen let his bag slide off his shoulder. She drew close, rested her hands slightly above his hips, tilted on tiptoe-and strained her neck. And kept straining. 

"What's wrong?" Allen asked, unable to quell the huge grin on his face. She couldn't reach him! He was actually too tall! 

"Shut up!" Road's tiny hands balled into fists, but Allen couldn't help himself, and burst out laughing. _Shortie,_ he thought giddily. 

"Ooh, you-!" Road seized his cravat, and yanked him to his knees. Allen was still laughing, his eyes closed, so the second kiss was as much of a surprise as the very first had been.

Her mouth was soft, withdrawing a little, readjusting, and then tipping sideways to meet him. Pursing, flattening, trying to compensate for the fact his mouth had been open too wide from laughing. Soft, very soft, a little spark of cherry flavor-

Road drew away, her cheeks quite pink, but with real satisfaction in her heavy-lidded gaze. "Are you _still_ laughing-"

"No, wait-" Allen whispered, and he drew her back in. More comfortable, both molding to the other's mouth, fragile tension, yet so immutable. 

So very far from alone.

* * *

They were walking on the path now. Road held him by the fingers with one hand, while reaching out to pluck flowers with the other. She would stick them in his hair, heedless of the fact they would just fall right out.

Road, his point of interest, the only one capable now of remaining by his side, of weathering Apocryphos, of withstanding the loss and sorrow that hung over Allen like an old favorite cape. 

Of not rejecting him due to the hand fate had dealt him. Allen was sure she wasn't happy Neah, her family member, was hosted within the body of a sort-of exorcist. Even if it was him.

But what did she do? She kept walking, finding bright spots where all Allen could see was the shadow of hopelessness. Like himself.

 _But keep walking_. That was the first step towards moving forward, leaving loneliness and regret behind as he was carried on his own momentum.

To think Road would remind him of that..he glanced down just as she was reaching up to insert another flower. Their eyes locked, and Road looked sober for a second, before smiling beatifically and stuffing a daisy down his shirt.

Wild girl.

**Author's Note:**

> *Feeling cute, might actually EDIT later (ok, I actually did, and now I feel less cute because what I originally posted was AWFUL)  
> *comments always welcome, regardless! (my addled brain got one thing right at least)  
> *why you should ship allen and road: HEIGHT Difference


End file.
